Friday, March 27, 2009

Faithful Fridays - "The Little Purple Dress"



I realize that Faithful Fridays and "The Little Purple Dress" don't possibly sound like they could go together, but for me they do.

Almost 27 years ago, when I was married for just two weeks, I spotted a little purple baby dress that I fell in love with. Now mind you, I said TWO weeks after being married. Not that I planned on babies that soon, but I've always loved kids and knew that I wanted to be a mom and preferrably have a house full of them....or at least three. Jason and I had talked; he said two and then we'll see! I said three. Well sometimes God has other plans.

When the time came that we felt we were ready for a baby, it just wasn't happening according to our plans. This was about two years after we were married. From that point on, we pursued building our family. Looking back on it is much easier than going through it though. I love the quote, "God won't bring you to anything that he won't bring you through". How true that is. However, the one thing I was sure of was that we were to be parents. I always saw myself as a mom and never believed otherwise, although at times it was tough. I thought I could never go to another baby shower again....it just wasn't fair. As a matter of fact, we went through the pregnancy of a friend's daughter that was fourteen.....yes, fourteen! I just couldn't understand why. But all the while, the little purple dress hung in the closet.

We explored all avenues of building our family and decided upon international adoption, although we didn't have a clue how or where we would get the finances to pursue this. We just trusted God. And although there were many hurdles to jump and red tape, the Lord blessed us with our son, Colt, adopted from Korea, after seven years of marriage! We were (and are) so blessed. I knew God had this little baby boy planned all along to be ours, even from that day that I bought that little purple dress. Now mind you, I didn't make Colt wear the purple dress, but I do have to admit to trying it on him one day while Jason was at work (when he was the right size to fit into it) with my mom as an accomplice. (I really hope Jason and Colt aren't reading this today)! Oh how I loved my baby boy and life with him!

I was so thankful to be a mom and savored and treasured every moment. But, I kept coming back to the scripture about being the "joyful mother of children". Notice that's plural....children? So my faith was firm. I wanted another baby....actually we did, but the desire was stronger with me. I was thankful and blessed with our precious baby boy, if one was what the Lord had for us, but the desire of my heart was for another child. I continued to pray.

When Colt was about two years old, we had met with a birth mother and I even planned to be in the delivery room with her. The lawyer had all the papers drawn up and things were ready to go. But for some reason, neither Jason nor I could get peace about this. We decided for some reason, this wasn't supposed to be. We called and backed out of this adoption. I can see how trusting the Lord in this situation was the best thing now.....because we found out that when the baby was born, she decided to keep her....a little girl. I would have been devastated.

So many more years passed and still the little purple dress hung in the closet. I have to admit a few times it crossed my mind to give it to a friend's daughter or at a baby shower (with its tags still attached and all), but God tugged at my heart. At this point, that little purple dress was most definitely a symbol of my faith. I continued to pray. We explored all options again, including fertility treatments. When Colt was 9 years old, we found out we were expecting. Twins run in our family and it was possible with the fertility treatments, so I had twin girls' names picked out. When we found out it was one baby.......Jason and I picked out names for both boy or girl. However, I KNEW it was a girl. When the ultrasounds confirmed this many times, we picked out the name......Joy (my mother's middle name) and Maxine (Jason's mother's middle name). Her daddy was to call her Joy Max. I even prayed, "Lord if you could....it would be nice if she had brown eyes...I've always wanted a brown-eyed girl to go along with my brown-eyed boy". And so it was to be. She had the brownest eyes from day one. God is so good.

We were also told that our baby girl would have Down's Syndrome. For about a week, I was worried. After that, we had peace. Honestly, we were prepared if it was to be, but we didn't believe she would be. As a matter of fact, when she was born and the doctor said, "Here she is, and boy is she a pretty thing", I didn't even think to ask. I never asked. I KNEW she was healthy. And only God can give you that kind of faith and that kind of peace. I often think about the people that might have aborted the baby because they were told this. We were even asked to do an amniocentesis, but I wouldn't risk miscarriage, so we refused. We knew no matter what, this was God's plan for us....our little baby girl.

Here's a picture of Joy wearing the purple dress when she grew to fit it. It's so funny that she was born with a head full of black hair, then lost most of it about this age (at 6 months), then when it grew back, it was blonde.



So you see that little purple dress was a symbol of faith for both of my babies. I actually wanted a little boy, then a little girl....although healthy babies would have been blessing enough! God gave me the desires of my heart.

And just to tell you about that third baby I wanted. A little while after Joy was born (I was 35 when she was born), I did want another. I prayed about it. Jason felt he was getting "too old" and kept thinking about how old he would be when the baby would be a certain age. You know how men think with their brains and we ladies sometimes just think with our hearts sometimes? Well, I began to pray that the Lord would either change Jason's mind or take away the desire for another baby with me. This time, He worked on me. He gave me peace in my heart in knowing that our family was complete. God is good that way. He answers our prayers in different ways and gives peace accordingly.

God made us a family. We are so blessed.

45 comments:

Leslie said...

What a beautiful story ! Your baby girl was cute as a "button" in that little perple dress. Thanks, for sharing. Hugs~~~~Leslie

The Whites said...

Tammy, that is just the most amazing story! From the very beginning I just knew we were going to get to see Joy in that purple dress.

What a blessed way to start my day - thanks so much.

Mandy

Cathy said...

Oh Tammy....

You said it best last week in my post about how we have so much in common! I soooo know the longing and desires God gives us for children! After struggling with infertility I knew the Lord did not give me the desire for children if it wasn't his will for me to be the mother of some beautiful child!! He is always FAITHFUL even at times when it seems we are all alone! For me it was hard seeing everyone around me have children but, yet I couldn't even get pregnant! He definantly know's what he is doing and when it will happen!

Thanks so much for sharing!

Susan said...

What a lovely testimony of your faith and God's goodness. He truly does give us the desires of our heart.....as the Word states.
Susan

Shellmo said...

This is such a wonderful story of faith! You warmed my heart this morning! I loved seeing Joy in that purple dress! Both your children are beautiful. Right now we are trying to figure out how god wants us to complete our family. I have a 10 yr old stepson and we would like to have a sibling for him...we will see what's in store for us!

carolyn at cranberry crossings: said...

Tammy, what a sweet story! God is so good! I am so happy that He blessed you with two beautiful children. Seeing Joy in the little purple dress is so sweet! I would have been very disappointed if you had not included that photo!
Have a great weekend!

Down Willow Lane said...

Hi Tammy!
My Mum and I have both just read your wonderful story and as she has always told me...everything comes to those who wait...and both of your lovely children were worth the wait!
Have a lovely day!

Tomatoe Creek Prims said...

What a wonderful story of faith! I never had trouble getting pregnant...hence four children:0 When it came time for my daughter though it was different for her, 6 years later Sydney arrived for us and the whole family was so very happy. Michele had cross stitched a baby quilt and it layed in tissue paper for 6 long years:)
Have a wonderful day Tammy, Joy sure looks sweet in the purple dress:)
Rondell

Anonymous said...

Tammy- God is faithful. My husband & I also struggled thru infertility. We finally gave up after 2 years for doctors, tests and lots and lots of expenses. We gave it all to God and a year later I was pregnant with our now 15 year old beautiful daughter. She is the joy of my life (even though sometimes she has that teenager thing going) Thanks for sharing your story. God is Good

Linda said...

Hi Tammy,
God Bless you and your family. What a wonderful story. A couple from my church have been in the process of adoption for over a year. They have had a little girl promised to them, however it's been over 7 months, they still are waiting final adoption. Please pray that it will start to move more quickly, the couple has be trying for years and years, and I know God has special plans for the child and parents.

Grace & Peace,
Linda

Sharon said...

What a beautiful post.
My son & DIL just found out that after 15 yrs they are going to be parents again. I told them the same thing that GOD gave them this baby for a reason no matter what their age.
Your daughter in the purple dress is so pretty. I bought a dress just like that for my first granddaughter 15 yrs ago.
God is so GOOD.
Have a great weekend.

Anonymous said...

your story is so beautiful, i have had NO problem getting pregnant our first was born 10 months to the DAY we were married and our 2nd twenty months after that.Now im sure im going to make some people made in what im about to type, but it is MY option,I believe if god wants you to be parents he will bless you with a child thru natural biological birth or adoption. I believe playing "god" to get pregnant thru scientific process is wrong, maybe because Ive never had a problem having a baby, if i was in that situation i might change my mind ..I also some people should never be allowed to breed..(you know you know someone like this)Children are a BLESSING from God,and maybe it just is not the right timing,God Knows the present and future we just get really impatient sometimes and want it NOW..my first husband and i had a stillborn baby and soon after we divorced, i still ache for my little boy but also have realized that everything happens for a reason and i could have never supported a baby in the first few years after that divorce.God knew what he is and was doing.So i just Trust God to bless me all the "blessings" he will give us, I am so ready for a third baby and i have a one and two yr old.Crazy maybe but incredibly blessed.i know i ruffled some feathers but just my 2cents...

Wendi said...

I was tearing up as I read this. As you know my sweet Megan was adopted from China. It is just amazing the plans God can have for our lives!

I hope you saved the purple dress for a future grandbaby.

Lauren said...

That was such a wonderful story, Tammy! Thank you for blessing us with it...it truly did bless me:) God surely can change your plans in a second...as he most definitely did with Noah, who was born only one month before our first anniversary...but I've learned that my plans aren't the ones that matter. GOD'S plans are the ones that are really important, and I am so thankful that does have His own for each of us! And Joy looked absolutely precious in that dress...I'm sure it is in a special place for *future* use:)

Zaroga said...

Tammy, that is a wonderful, heartwarming story. Joy is so cute in her purple dress.

CozyCoops Corner said...

What a wonderful story Tammy! I love how you kept the dress all that time. I'm so glad you got your baby girl! Thanks for sharing:-) Have a wonderful weekend!
Janae

Happily Ever After said...

Tammy,

This is a wonderful story. God is so wonderful to us. He truly hears the prayer of his children. If all of us would only pray until we receive an answer from God without jumping ahead and moving forward. Our prayers are answered in HIS time..not in ours.


Many blessings...


Gigi

country gal said...

Mom,

I love that purple dress!!!! Hey...try putting that dress on Colt now! lol!!!!! Ahhhh!!!!! I love you!!!!

Love, Joy =D

Colleen said...

I just LOVED that story, Tammy! For so many reasons ...

God has certainly entrusted you and Jason with two much-loved miracles. They are lucky children indeed. And a testament to all of that love and faith wrapped up in a little purple dress.

Thanks for sharing such an inspirational story, my friend...

sara said...

Tammy, I love this story. God is good. You do have a perfect family. And I love the purple dress.....

sara said...

that last comment was from me--linda at parkers paradise---i forgot to change usernames. btw--i am having a wonderful time here....

Karen said...

Beautiful, beautiful story!
How very warm and touching and the dress on Joy is just beautiful....
Hugs, Karen

Karen said...

Tammy,

That is just the sweetest story ever. God is so good. Thank you so much for sharing this. You mentioned how the doctors said Joy might have downs syndrome when she was born, and how some would have had an abortion after that...this has happened to two of my sisters. Both of them were told that there would be something wrong with their babies, (one doctor advised my sister to have an abortion!) but when they were born there was absolutely NOTHING wrong. They are both healthy active children today. I wonder how many children have been aborted just over what the doctors have said, when there was really nothing wrong with them. It is so sad in any case when this path is chosen. You really made my day after reading your wonderful story...and Joy looks so cute in the little purple dress. (I bet Colt did, too!) :o)

Anyway, YES! I am thinking about starting Sonlight this fall...and it's actually because of your post about it several weeks ago. I liked how you were describing it, so I ordered a catalog from them. When I got it and looked through it, I was VERY impressed--even my husband was impressed. He usually leaves it all up to me. We have always used "living books," but I like how everything is planned out with Sonlight...and I really like their choices of books to use. So, I have to say a BIG thanks to you! And, Amber says Joy speaks highly of it, too!

Have a great evening, Tammy!
Karen

Leslie said...

What a beautiful story! I'm so happy that you got to use that purple dress and you were blessed with both of your children :)

One thing I have learned is that people don't realize how hard it can be to get pregnant. Everyone seems to think it just happens. A friend of mine had an IUD put in after having her son and then had it removed a year ago, after 4 years. She's still not pregnant and can't understand why because it didn't take that long the first time and he wasn't really planned. Another couple that we know says they have been trying for a few months and she told me that it wouldn't be an issue because her family seems to be fertile. No baby yet. People just don't get it. It happens more than they know and just because you had no trouble the first time or everyone in your family got pregnant just by thinking about it, doesn't mean it will happen with you.

I thought it was hard finding out I was pregnant unexpectedly but since then, I've learned it's a lot harder to want a baby and not be able to have one....

Enjoy the rest of your weekend with your wonderful family :)

Leslie

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